March 12, 2010
Oh what a bittersweet time this is! As the last couple weeks have drawn to a close I have been undeniably ready to wrap things up and move into my final quarter of being a student again, but it’s clear to me how much I will miss my little guys and gals. I’ve been with them for six months now and one of the most rewarding things about the SPU Ed program is the time I have had to get to know my students. I mean, I feel like I really know my students. I’ll always look back with fondness on my perfectionist student who records his start and ending times when taking math tests, and my student who brings in a new handful of rocks from the playground every day to add to her Rocks & Minerals Unit “collection;” her double-stacked pile of rubble is simultaneously pitiful, amusing, and endearing. I’ll never forget my developmentally challenged student who manages to keep the most heart-warming smile on his face, rain or shine, nor will I forget how he also manages to get ketchup all over his desk, every lunch period, without fail. I can’t forget my squinty student with a sincere passion for sticky-notes and pet caterpillars, and I certainly won’t be able to forget that one student whose attitude is most likely to give me a headache. He’s a smart kid, he just knows how to ride the nerves of his teachers like nobody’s business. I won’t forget the fervor my students displayed when playing a silly game like magic scrap, and I won’t forget the moments of triumph I experienced when a student suddenly exclaimed, “Oh! Now I get it.”
In fact, there are many things I won’t forget. This experience has been one of the more challenging and humbling experiences I’ve had in my life. And I don’t say that lightly. It’s been hard to articulate to people close to me what it’s actually like getting up and heading to school every day; everyone else in my immediate community is still very much doing the college thing. I come home to my roommates at the end of the day, and one of them might ask, “How was school today?” I respond with a brief update, maybe a funny anecdote or two, but the truth is, I don’t feel like I could really articulate myself in a way that would communicate what I think, feel, or experience during my day in the classroom. Teaching is hard. Being in charge of the health, well-being, and education of 27 8-year-olds every day is no small task. Being fully immersed in the classroom has given me invaluable insight into the world of education and into my own desires for a vocation in the field. I have felt at least a taste of the full weight of responsibility that comes with a teaching job. Elementary Education is not all puppy dogs and candy canes. With school politics, parent pressures, kids in rough home-life situations, high-pressure test scores, and constant curriculum changes, teaching is downright stressful. In addition, it’s difficult to leave the job at school. In my experience, particularly this quarter, I would come home at night and immediately be thinking about the next day’s lessons, correcting papers, and how to fix my teaching strategies to better serve my kids. The job of the teacher is really never done. It’s so much more than a nine to five.
BUT, as most anyone would say that has experienced the profession for long enough, teaching comes with its fair share of rewarding and fulfilling experiences. The other day I walked out of my classroom to go observe another teacher’s lesson, and when I returned, it felt like I had been away for ages. I was so glad to see my students again when in reality I had been away from them for a grand total of 60 minutes. I was all smiles and was cracking jokes left and right, happy to be back with my students. I think being in the other classroom made me feel like I was cheating on them or something. Point being, teaching—often imperceptibly—is tied up in the baby steps of every day. I haven’t realized the full weight of my time with my students in the classroom until just recently, but the truth is, I’ve been able to experience a good chunk of life with them in the last six months.
As a result, I think I’ve come to recognize that successful teaching is about consistency: in the classroom as well as in personal character. It’s just as much about showing up every day and giving whatever you’ve got as it is about the latest research on learning styles or standardized testing methods. In a reflection I wrote a few weeks ago about “love in action,” I noted that teaching is largely influenced by learning to recognize and embrace the little victories of every day. Like I said…it’s all about the baby steps. Even on the days where the kids are annoying and the job is stressful, choosing to love students is taking one more baby step in the right direction.
I believe that any idealism I had about the teaching profession previous to my internship has since been readjusted, but I don’t feel I’ve been disenchanted in a way that makes me bitter. My internship experience has given me hope for the honorable profession that is elementary education, and a reinforced belief in the effect teachers can have through their profession. Allow me to be cliché for a moment as I say that kids…well, kids are our future. As a society, if we cease to have quality individuals entering the teaching profession, we’ll be in serious trouble. If we can’t properly educate our kids towards high standards of character and competence, the world will become a scarier place more quickly than we could ever have anticipated.
As far as my own professional development is concerned, I’ve felt that my experience in this internship has shown me that I have what it takes to be a teacher, but I will need to proceed forward into the teaching profession with the utmost intentionality. I know that I have the confidence, the competence, and the creativity to be in front of a classroom, but I also know that there is always something to learn. Teaching involves constant flexibility and fluidity and requires individuals who can step up to that challenge. Even with years of experience under his belt, my mentor teacher is always looking for ways to change and better adapt his teaching style. At this point, I have no idea what the future has in store. What I do know is, that which I’ve learned, seen, and experienced in my internship has stretched me as an individual both professionally and personally. Whether I go into teaching as a long-term profession or not, that which I have learned in my student-teaching will stay with me for a long time—right alongside those precious memories of the students whom I had the privilege of working with in my first legitimate teaching experience.
So for now, I’ll let this be my final written reflection for the School of Education and I’ll dutifully sign off on this chapter of my life. It’s been a phenomenal journey. My sincerest thanks go out to SPU, the School of Education, Green Lake Elementary, and of course, my dear mentor teacher Tim Salcedo. Good times… 
